Okay I really dont hate them. My uncle helps take care of me but it seems everything I do gets him mad. I am going to be 23 on sunday and I still need help with a lot of things and he doesn't bring that up. He gets mad about me rocking in public, or not talking or saying hi to all the people. He gets mad because I wear the same outfit 4 or 5 days in a row. I tell him I dont do these thing on purpose but he says I just need to grow up. There is more I can list but I have one question. He knows it hard it hard for me to do things so I dont want to make him mad but, how do I get him to understand things..
Example: I am always obssesed with sameness that why I wear the same outfit I guess...
(04-30-2010 07:19 PM)Riding_Shadow Wrote: [ -> ]Okay I really dont hate them. My uncle helps take care of me but it seems everything I do gets him mad. I am going to be 23 on sunday and I still need help with a lot of things and he doesn't bring that up. He gets mad about me rocking in public, or not talking or saying hi to all the people. He gets mad because I wear the same outfit 4 or 5 days in a row. I tell him I dont do these thing on purpose but he says I just need to grow up. There is more I can list but I have one question. He knows it hard it hard for me to do things so I dont want to make him mad but, how do I get him to understand things..
Example: I am always obssesed with sameness that why I wear the same outfit I guess...
Yes, I can understand it from both side in a way. I tent to rock and hand flap a a when I'm anxious or excited and I can control my self but I have to be aware I'm doing it so sometimes I forgot that it others find it a bit embarrassing.
I too also like wearing the same colours and outfits but I think this is less of a issue and although to someone with out aspergers can seem almost obsessive its a harmless one, after all no one gets upset about people in uniforms wearing the same outfit
I've found a bit of give and take on these issues can help. My carer (NT) helps me try new things out and I'm grateful for that. It took her a few goes to persuade me to buy t shits in another colour other then black.. which I have but now I have 4 green, blue and whilte t shits so I can still have continuity in clothing but with a slight variation from my what I would normally wear.
I have a caretaker too, and sometimes things are hard, but it really is a little give and take like the last post states.
You could explain to him that his being mad at you only stresses you out and makes all the things that annoy him worse.
I love wearing the same outfit for days at a time. My Growing up experience is that now I have several versions and copies of what I like so I dont wear dirty clothes all week.
One thing I have observed about people is that somtimes they feel people are judging them because of the behaviour of the people they are with. This is especially evident in the older generation. It could be that as much as your uncle loves and cares for you, he is feels people are judging him when they see him with you.
You are doing nothing wrong by not saying hello or by rocking. And chances are that no one is actually judging your Uncle.. its just what some people think..
I guess its the "what will the neighbours say" generation.